How Abundance Can Lead to Addiction

How Abundance Can Lead to Addiction

Imagine feeling not worthy of love, not worthy of abundance, scrounging around seeking validation from whoever will give it to you.

For Ron, it was difficult to be committed to one person because he thought he needed validation of his self-worth from as many people as possible.  It was like “looking for love in all the wrong places.”  Sex addiction is a disorder where a person equates sex with love, without a feeling of intimate connection. It’s much easier to live in fantasy online than to be vulnerable enough to have an intimate connection with someone.

Ron was afraid he would never measure up emotionally to be able to be truly intimate with someone.  He didn’t feel he was worthy of being in a committed relationship with one person.  His self-esteem was so low, he believed living in fantasy would help him find out he was indeed good enough.

When he is present with his girlfriend and things are going well, he has a tendency to believe the negative thought patterns that begin to spiral out of control in his mind. “How can she be nice to me when I’ve hurt her so much?” “Is this relationship for real?” “She’s asking me why I cheated on her and all I can say is I don’t know.” (Which doesn’t go over very well). It’s very confusing for both the betrayer and the partner.

The fact is that every partner is different.  Every person brings their own baggage, past traumas, past relationships into the present one. Some people are more forgiving than others and some people hold on to resentments for the rest of their lives. Ron’s partner sees he is changing, still doesn’t trust him completely but is willing to stay.

What’s really happening here is that Ron is questioning whether he really deserves abundance. How can you just relish in the abundance and be thankful for whatever you have? It's almost like a fear of success. Everybody has a fear of failure, but a fear of success is just as debilitating.  Sometimes, when a person feels he doesn’t deserve abundance, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and he jeopardizes his own growth.  

What abundance are you thankful for today? Can you give yourself permission to feel worthy of abundance?