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  • Sex Addiction Therapists Toolkit

    Over the years I’ve developed visual aids and exercises to help clients more easily understand the essential elements of sex addiction therapy.  These CBT, DBT and experiential exercises will enhance your clients’ experience and help you, the clinician, offer an easy and natural way for clients to go deeper in their process and heal sooner, rather than later.  Look over the list below of 21 exercises, audio and recovery kits and you’ll realize how beneficial this will be for your practice.

    Toolkit Exercises, Audio and Recovery Kit


    Mindmaps are diagrams in which information is represented visually, usually with a central idea placed in the middle and
    associated ideas arranged around it 

    Shame Mindmap  

    Feelings, Behaviors, Thoughts, and Values which evolve over time due to shame. Mindmap can be adapted to use with terms like addiction, fear, consequences, relapse, serenity, etc. Great for group participation. 

    Attachment Theory

    Attachment Styles Graph

    This graph, which can be made into a poster, is perfect for explaining attachment styles and how they affect self-image, negotiation techniques, sexuality and addiction. Based on clinical research articles. 

    Attachment Perspective on Intimacy

    Attachment Addiction Graph

    Based on clinical research articles these two attachment perspectives go together to explain the connection between attachment styles and intimacy.  

    Graphics that Clarify Sex Addiction

    2 Paths to Addiction

    A visual representation of the two paths leading to sex addiction, 

    Neglect leading to entitlement and emotional distance leading to low self-esteem. 

    Boiling Pot Analogy

    This graphic shows the elements that “raise the temperature” over time and eventually lead to acting out (boiling over). Elements include lust, restlessness, irritability, discontentment, fear and resentment.

    Five Circles 

    How pain and suffering are rooted in mental obsessions and spiritual maladies which cause a person to act out. 

    I can’t vs. I don’t

    A simple representation of two concepts.  I can’t act out anymore versus I don’t act out anymore.  
    Great for group warm-ups. 

    Sex Addiction Sociometry

    An experiential sociometry exercise to help clients identify their rationalizations and excuses for acting out.

    Healthy Intimacy for Couples

    This 12 page booklet explains healthy intimacy, what
    blocks intimacy, how to deepen intimacy, the 4 phases of love, what works, the eight stages of intimacy, FANOS, Acceptance,
    Developing Healthy intimacy, Healthy sex vs. sex addiction.  


    Answering the Why Question

    The most common question clinicians receive from betrayed partners. Here are the answers. 


    Relational Blind Spots

    The inability to experience joy and healthy relationships due to these blind spots 

    Inner Child 

    Inner Child Trauma

    An exercise for individuals or group analyzing the rules and roles growing up, the defenses used for survival, medicators and resources.  Clients fill in the squares and create their own story. 

    Belief Systems

    Behavior Change – Abuse

    Behaviors that need to change and how to know if an abuser has changed.  

    Glass Half Empty or Full

    Graphic explaining the two neuro pathways that signal depression and anxiety and what the solution is

    Happiness Maze

    A maze graphic with happiness in the middle where each dead end is a negative emotion or behavior which blocks your client from getting to happiness. 

    The Negative Belief Buster

    An experiential exercise identifying limited beliefs from childhood and how
    these beliefs affect communication issues in a relationship.  Very eye opening for clients. 

    Changing Limiting Beliefs Worksheet

    Using NLP techniques, this worksheet changes limiting beliefs by helping the client dig deeper into the fear of changing that belief to be more positive. 

    Writing Exercises

    Because Worksheet

    An experiential exercise to help clients dig deeper into their belief systems.  Same
    questions are: 

    I don’t show my emotions because people will take advantage of me

    I sabotage my life because
    I don’t know how to be happy. 

    I am afraid to take risks because I’m afraid of failure. 

    Writing Exercises to promote insight and wellness

    Fill in the blanks, Word Clusters, Six word stories, Writing the Wrongs and Writing the Rights, Metaphors

    Let’s Play Therapist 

    A group exercise where group members explore consequential questions with each other like…

    What happens when you get the feeling you want to act out sexually or watch porn? 

    What’s the benefit to continue to act out in your
    addiction? (nothing is not an acceptable answer)
    and 38 more.  


    Urge Surfing

    4 minutes and 32 second audio to help clients “surf their urges” when they are triggered. 

    A great preventative measure for clients to practice each day.